Monday, November 17, 2008

Where is My Life going?

For the most part, this blog has been carefree and lively. It has just entailed the daily happenings of my life.. my other blog has been the more personal one, for the most part.. Well get ready to get personal..

The thought in my head at the moment: Am I where I am supposed to be in life? Is this really my purpose and my call? What if some of my mistakes in life have took me on a different path?

These first two bible verses are verses that every Christian knows and I've memorized them from Sunday School a long time ago. The second verse has been an argument against abortion for as long as I can remember. But at this point in my life they both play key roles. Jer 29:11 (NIV) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."Jeremiah 1:5 "Before I formed you in the belly I knew you; and before you came forth out of the womb I sanctified you, and I ordained you a prophet to the nations."This verse is so comforting knowing that God set out distinct plans for me.. all of us.. but me! He thought about how he wants myself to make an impact in this world.. At the same time, it's disheartens me a tad. I mean, let's face it, we've all made mistake.. some huge, some minor. One of my thoughts was what if my mistakes took my on a different path in life? A different plan than the original one God has in store for me? But then He told me, not to fear, our God knows everything, even before it happens (which is hard to understand sometimes, but true). He is ominicent. Psalm 147:4-5: ''He telleth the number of the stars; He calleth them all by names. Great is our Lord, and of great power: His understanding is infinite.'' So I now know that some of these thoughts were just my mistrust in myself and honestly, maybe even a tad mistrust in God. I am the type of person who double checks things.. I wanted to make sure that everything on my plate is actually supposed to be there. And it is.

Honestly, the youth group that I am a leader of... is a large part of the reason why all of this came to my mind. The youth and some people from the past who tried to ruin what I had with them. But the bottom line is.. I messed up, but that was 2 years ago. I'm forgiven. I haven't done anything like that Since!. Bottom line. (But this is all a little background, I guess?!)

I have always been a Christian, since I was little. I've always known that I was going to be a Youth Leader (of course back then, I thought I would be a youth pastor after going to a Christian college). I've always loved God. But sometimes I didn't put him first in my life. I put a best friend that I had before him and sometimes before my family (sorry, bout the nose piercing dad. lol). This has nothing to do with her and all to do with me. I let other influences get the best of me.. and until lately, I thought that was going to haunt me forever. But our God is a loving and forgiving God. Romans 3:23 "For all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God". But my problem was.. I wasn't forgiving myself!
Mark 11:25 "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." I was still holding what felt like this burden of guilt, despite me asking the Lord to forgive me several times.. until I finally realized, DAH SAM! LET GO! And I gave it to him.. and he took it from me.. Our sins are as far east as they are west.. as long as we don't try and get them back. Ya know?

Now this is the hard part. 1 Pet 2:11 (NRS) Beloved, I urge you as aliens and exiles to abstain from the desires of the flesh that wage war against the soul. The devil knows my weaknesses.. He's not a stupid enemy.. He knows how he can try and get into our minds, families, friends, relationships, and he can try to tempt us. But the one thing I keep in mind is that the devil does all of that because he has already lost. "I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death" (Revelation 1:18). So yes, I did mess up.. the devil knows that and once we realize that he has NO power over us.. we should take Glory in that.

John 16:33 — "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." We will all have troubles. But I have decided to us my troubles and my past to better the future. I live a great life now. I am trying to live a sanctified life now, because I don't want to be satisfied with just being a Christian. I want it to be more of who I AM. People will come against you, even those who call themselves Christians. People will hurt your and deceive you and try to bring you down. But have FAITH. The Lord has been through all of this. He knows our pain, suffering, and what we're going through. He should be the only friend or best friend we need.. of course others are f

So this is at the point to where I am in my life. Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths" I trust the Lord with all I am. I trust that he knows my future, he knows my past (and still forgives me), He knows the choices and battles I face on a day to day bases. But if I wake up with the attitude of "Good morning God, What're you doing today? Can I be in it?" Honestly, it changes my whole day and mindset. Nothing can try and ruin it. I know that this youth group and this church is where I am supposed to be. I know that I live a life that they can look up to, and I can be an example. I know that my family will be behind me no matter what. I know who my true friends are. I know that I have a man in my life who I love and couldn't imagine being with out him. I know my dad is always there to come to for advice, or just to listen. I know these things now because of what I have been through. I know that simply saying the name of Jesus in a stressful situation or a big mess... allows everything to go away. It allows Him to be in control, once more. I love the place where I am in my life right now. I will continue to move forward and to Let God take over.

These are kinda just for me, but they're the things I need to continue or start to do:
1) Continue to be in prayer. Keep that open line of communication with God
2) Give Thanks. I have a great life and am always thankful of it
3) Get into his word. I love to read, but have fallen away from it for awhile. I need to get back to it. I want to know everything about God.
4) Be prepared. (For everything and anything) For youth, for the temptations to continue flying my way.. cause the devil knows i'm on a rampage :).. for life.
5) Find ways for the youth ministries to grow. Get these kids started on a sturdy foundation of what there faith really means to them.
6) Get ways to outreach to them community, family, and friends. I don't want them to be left behind!

This is my hard part that I need to do. We all should do. Matthew 5:44-45 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. I told you it was hard! lol

So my parting words are this: Jesus Loves You. All of You. Despite your past, he loves you and wants a close and intimate relationship with all of his children. He is there waiting for you with open arms.. let him in. find him. I hope this looong post helps some of you like it helped me. Have Faith in all you do. And if for some reason, you don't know who this Jesus person I'm talking about it? Or you don't have a personal relationship with him? Email me: I'd be glad to share with you. Have a good day!!!!

In a song by Unhindered (on my playlist) "Holy Is Your Name", it states these lyrics:
You are my creator
I'm gonna sing to you forever
And let the world proclaim
Holy is Your name
You are my creator
I'm gonna sing to you forever
And let the world proclaim
Holy is Your name

You're in my mind, You're in my heart
You're always near, You're never far
You bring me joy, You give me peace
You love the world and even me

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